“I suspect my wife took my children to England. My wife has always said that she wanted to go to England via France to live in England. I think that my wife does look after my children well, but my wife thinks of herself first. My wife can react very angrily towards the children, however.”
“Peace be upon you, F. As you may know, she has now moved to Britain. I knew every step she took during this move, and I had the means to take legal action against her from the beginning. By God, it would not have taken much to have [the mother] and the children returned and to have her resident revoked – thus leaving her alone. However, I chose not to cause her any trouble. Now, I deeply regret this decision – I realise I should have acted decisively from the start. Out of consideration for the children, I allowed them to stay with her. Despite everything she has done, I refrained from acting negatively. There were times I was firm with her, but only because I had treated her with far more kindness than was necessary from the beginning or our marital / family life.”
“Let me be clear: from the day in 2021 when the problems began, I remained patient with her, even as she engaged in increasingly provocative behaviour. These provocations were extreme and designed to push me to my limits. The situation escalated to the point where I asked her to allow me to enter the house to retrieve my belongings, and she refused. Even here, her refusal was not legally acceptable, but she believed that the law would support her actions, no matter how unreasonable. At that moment in time, I tried to speak with you to explain the situation, but she grabbed the phone from me and attempted to break it. In that heated moment, I struck her on the back. That was the only time I ever laid a hand on her. Apart from that incident, I have never hit her. It’s unfair for her to continue lying about me, claiming that I have been abusive. She has gone to great lengths to fabricate accusations against me; she has done the unthinkable in her efforts to get me imprisoned including an incident where she shaved part of her hair and then reported to the police that I had done it to her.”
“My husband and step daughter have always been clear that they do not wish for me to be involved in other people’s issues. It is our culture that we shouldn’t get involved with other people’s business and they feel strongly about this. I want to help but need to do so without their assistance. If a statement were sent to me by post my husband would intercept the letter and tell me not to respond.”
“12. As indicated above, I did also witness for myself [the mother] being beaten by her husband in my home. The incident occurred sometime after her husband left the family home It happened in front of me, my husband and my daughter in approximately early 2021 when [the mother] was pregnant. [The mother]’s two sons were also present. [The mother] had told me shortly before this incident that she was pregnant. The husband had knocked on the door of our house and asked if my daughter could attend with him at [The mother]’s address as he needed university papers and his phone back. He was saying said it was brand new and cost him 1100 euros. My daughter went to call on [the mother] to collect the belongings and hand them over to the husband. [The mother]’s brother was on the phone to help sort out the issues. My daughter and [the mother] returned to my property and did not have the belongings. [The mother] said that the papers had been burned and that the phone had been put in the wheely bin. 13. I recall that at one point [the mother]’s brother was speaking on the phone to [the mother]’s husband on speaker phone telling him that he needed to declare a divorce because of the trouble and arguments saying it can’t be tolerated [the mother]’s husband obeyed what her brother said; there was also a lot of discussion about who had taken who’s phone with accusations about the phone. The husband had another phone on charge in our house and [the mother] picked it up and threw it on the floor. The husband got very angry and started to beat her up. He was beating her on her back, her stomach and anywhere he could on her body. It was mainly punches with both fists to her back and her stomach. This happened for some time and only stopped when my husband was able to drag him off [the mother]. My daughter saw [the mother] pick up a vase and gesture towards me as to wink. I didn’t see this for myself. My peripheral vision isn’t very good as I have had surgery on my eyes. 14. My daughter and husband saw this beating and, as indicated, my daughter video recorded it on her phone. My husband called emergency services and the police attended. The female police officer took [the mother] back over the road to her home and [the mother] told me she showed them bruises on her stomach and on back.”
“My body is all marked, I was violated, my hair was shaved, when the police came, they said social services will come tomorrow. They took him from the house but it didn’t solve the problem. I have been suffering so badly, threats, even the children were not happy at all. My son wee on himself at school, because of the stress he got bloating in his stomach.”
“...we even started divorce, he didn’t want to divorce, he enjoys beating children and torturing me. 5 days before I left Holland he hit me with the TV until the TV broke. They didn’t take me to hospital.”
“I explored with [the mother] around the claims of domestic abuse and what this looked like for her and the children. [The mother] explained that her husband was physically and emotionally abusive to her. She explained that the abuse started when she was pregnant and continued through all the pregnancies. She told me that [the father] has burnt her and her hair, hit her with objects, his hands and threatened her with knives. She reports that he is always having affairs too and she concerned about his drug and alcohol misuse. She reports that she does not know what he would take or drink, but that she could tell when he had been using as this is when the abuse became worse. She told me that she would often fear for hers and the children life’s (sic) as he used to threaten to kill them all to. She told me that the police were always called and they would take photos of her injuries. She tells me that I if made contact with them, they would have evidence of this and photos of her black eyes and body covered in bruises. She tells me that there was another time the police were called and this was witnessed by her neighbours – she explained this time, he chase her with a knife, her and the children and she had to lock herself in the bathroom until the police care (sic). [The mother] advised that the LA advised her that he was not allowed to see the children and he moved out of the family home. She explained that [the father] remained in contact stating he had changed and that he wanted support and medication. [The mother] explained that she did forgive him, but that he was not true to his word and the abuse continued – I unpicked [m]ore about the abuse that the children received and she told me that he would always hit the children with sticks, belts and shoes. She reports that Y still has marks on his body from this – these were not seen as he was at school.”
“19. I showed Y photos of him and his siblings with their father and asked him to tell me who everyone was. Y was able to tell me who each was however on two of the photos he said that it was not his father, saying it was a friend and not his dad. I asked him about spending time with his father, referring to the photograph of him and D with their father outdoors. Y said “he is not my father”
“24... I asked D what the differences of living in Holland and England were and he said, “we lived in a house before and now we live in a hotel. The school is different, the food is different”
“After the social worker came to see them recently and spoke to them they were having flashbacks and nightmares. Y woke up in the middle of the night terrified. He said he had a nightmare. There was a monster beating him and crushing him and it looked like his dad. He said he couldn’t go back to sleep and needed to be with me.”
“...because the mother went abroad with the children, [Jeugdbescherming West] has not been able to determine whether the concerns mentioned by the Children's Court in the order have been removed (domestic violence, no stable parenting situation, frequent somatic complaints in the children, abdominal pain, bad teeth). [Jeugdbescherming West] has serious concerns about this. By moving abroad (having de facto abducted the children), the mother did not act in the children’s best interests… The period leading up to the Order involved a lot of arguments between parents, including domestic violence. [the Dutch Child Care Protection Board] and [Jeugdbescherming West] have no insight into how the children are doing now…[the Dutch Child Care Protection Board] is not sufficiently reassured that the parents, in particular the mother, are adequately meeting the minors’ needs, as it has no insight whatsoever into the children’s educational situation. Given the circumstances, [the Dutch Child Care Protection Board] considers that the Order is not enforceable”
“If you think you are in England and nice and safe I will find you and kill you and I will make sure social services come and take the children”
“If an order is made, I would agree with the position of the mother, there needs to be a clear plan in place, in terms of status, ability to return, benefit support, accommodation and a safeguarding plan to be put in place to be implemented by children’s services in the Netherlands.”
“If what the children told me, about their father, that “he kicked use out of the house” (Y) and “he beats my mum” and “he is trying to kill my mum” (D) is an accurate reflection of their experiences, it is unsurprising that this would lead them to have negative views of returning to the Netherlands. It is also likely as young children of age eight and six, that Yand D are going to align themselves with the views of their mother, who is their primary care giver.”
“Art 13 “Notwithstanding the provisions of the preceding Article, the judicial or administrative authority of the requested State is not bound to order the return of the child if the person, institution or other body which opposes its return establishes that: …/ (b) there is a grave risk that his or her return would expose the child to physical or psychological harm or otherwise place the child in an intolerable situation. …/ In considering the circumstances referred to in this Article, the judicial and administrative authorities shall take into account the information relating to the social background of the child provided by the Central Authority or other competent authority of the child's habitual residence.”
“Art 13 Notwithstanding the provisions of the preceding Article, the judicial or administrative authority of the requested State is not bound to order the return of the child if the person, institution or other body which opposes its return establishes that - …/ The judicial or administrative authority may also refuse to order the return of the child if it finds that the child objects to being returned and has attained an age and degree of maturity at which it is appropriate to take account of its views. In considering the circumstances referred to in this Article, the judicial and administrative authorities shall take into account the information relating to the social background of the child provided by the Central Authority or other competent authority of the child's habitual residence.”
“The husband got very angry and started to beat her up. He was beating her on her back, her stomach and anywhere he could on her body. It was mainly punches with both fists to her back and her stomach. This happened for some time and only stopped when my husband was able to drag him off [the mother].”
“It is important to remember that the risks in question are those faced by the children, not by the parent. But those risks may be quite different depending upon whether they are returning to the home country where the primary carer is the ‘left-behind’ parent or whether they are returning to a home country where their primary carer will herself face severe difficulties in providing properly for their needs. Primary carers who have fled from abuse and maltreatment should not be expected to go back to it, if this will have a seriously detrimental effect upon the children. We are now more conscious of the effects of such treatment, not only on the immediate victims but also on the children who witness it.”
“...it is inconceivable that a court which reached the conclusion that there was a grave risk that the child’s return would expose him to physical or psychological harm or otherwise place him in an intolerable situation would nevertheless return him to face that fate.”