“Where the Court makes a residence order in favour of any person who is not the parent or guardian of the child concerned that person shall have parental responsibility for the child while the residence order remains in force.”
“I have made my views clear about what I think about perpetuating a deception in the context of the legal view about a shared residence. Lots of people with no biological connection with children have shared residence orders without perpetuating a deception, particularly if what might be termed a deception is explained sensibly and properly to a child, in this case H.”
“In one respect Mr A and [the mother] are as like as chalk and chalk, that in respect of determination. Just as Mr A has been determined to get his way, [the mother] has been determined to carry on with her way, as Mr A would see it, marginalising his position with H. Otherwise she is not the same obviously forceful character as Mr A and one can see that [she] could find herself dominated by his strong and forceful personality. Perhaps she might feel – I am not suggesting that Mr A willingly attempts to control her – but she might see herself as being controlled by him.”
“Shared residence; there are great advantages in a shared residence order which I shall come to in a moment. It sends out the strong message that Mrs R suggested and Miss D agreed with about Mr A’s position in H’s life. On the other hand, Miss D did suggest it would impinge (these are my words, not hers) on mother’s security. It would affect mother, as would parental responsibility which goes with it; and that is something to put in the balance.”
“29. I am very much in favour of a joint residence order for the reasons already mentioned just now in the criteria, but I do not propose to make an order now because I am concerned about the effect it would have on the mother. I am not going to make an order at this stage for that reason but I want to keep the option open and we will look at it again in the case of a review. I am expecting, when the review comes round, … to examine closely the mother’s behaviour and attitude towards this judgment. If I find there has been a failure to heed my remarks in her attitude towards Mr A and indeed to H, that may well strengthen my resolve at the next hearing to make a joint residence order. So I am putting it on ice for the moment, concerned as I am for the mother’s reaction to it; but she has warning that it may well be coming if she does not co-operate for H’s benefit with Mr A. I reject, as I have already said, that a joint residence order would perpetuate a deception; but that is not a factor in my mind. 30. Let me just say this in relation to joint residence. I am making the order that I do on the basis that the mother’s staying in [the area] and I find that for her to do so is in H’s best interest in maintaining a relationship with Mr A.”
“If it is a quid pro quo for my not making at this stage a joint residence order … she may well find that would mean to secure protection from Mr A from marginalisation in relation to H, then there will be a joint residence order.”
“Parental responsibility; the existing order was made in error, an error due to Miss A. It is an academic thing. I am going to revoke the existing order [with] the possibility that for the same reason as the joint residence order, it may be revived. When I look at the situation, it may be needed to protect Mr A against any unilateral intention to marginalise him from H made in the mind of Miss A.”
“This judgment should be read or heard in conjunction with that earlier judgment, from which it follows on. There are a number of issues now before me.”
“5. The first issue… is the mother’s application to relocate with H from [her home locally] to [the South Coast]. The reason she applies to the Court is that I made it clear in my earlier judgment that it was in H’s best interests that she should remain [in the locality] because of what I found was a real fear of Mr A [that] moving out of the area to a distant location within England would make contact more difficult and might be seen by Mr A at least, as his marginalisation by the mother. So she has to apply to the Court as indeed she has done, for permission to relocate to [the South Coast]. This is also the review hearing originally contemplated to be taking place in July 2006 in the original order. 6. Then there is the issue of shared residence, which is strongly put forward by Mr A, because he wishes not in fact to have a significant share of H’s time living with him in terms of equal or more or less equal division, but he wishes to have parental responsibility restored to him – again, as he would put it, so as to prevent the mother from marginalising him in his relationship with H. 7. There is the third issue of contact, which depends, of course, on whether the mother and H remain in (their present location) or whether they remove to [the coast]. 8. There are issues abut H’s surname, which are put forward by Mr A. Should he be known [by the father’s or mother’s surname]. There is also an issue raised by Miss Probyn in her skeleton argument, concerning the introduction of Mr C, who is in fact H’s biological father, to H. H knows of him, but he has not met him – how does that impact, I must decide, upon H’s welfare at the moment.”
“Such a move would inevitably fracture H’s ability to continue to develop a primary relationship with both his parents, even if a generous contact regime was ordered or indeed agreed. To subject the young child to extensive travel to facilitate contact, would not be regarded as being desirable or appropriate. He has the opportunity to continue to move between parents in a much closer proximity by staying in [the area of his present home].”
“is at risk from suffering emotional damage as a result of the antagonism between the parties, and I stress once more, they must stop this antagonism, and the best way of doing that in all the circumstances, I have found, is a move [by] H and his mother provided the level of contact and the enjoyable contact which H has with Mr A is maintained.”
“41… that brings into question the possibility of making a shared residence order. It is the only way of giving Mr A parental responsibility. He thought he was the biological father of H. [The mother] led him to believe, and led the Court to believe, that he was. If he had been and we had not had the DNA tests, there would have been no difficulty about Mr A having parental responsibility. A shared joint residence order would grant him parental responsibility, and … although in fact it [is] intended that, of course, [the mother] will remain H’s primary carer, that route has been approved of in Re H (Shared Residence – Parental Responsibility)[1995] 2 FLR 883 and Re G (Children)[2005] EWCA Civ 462 . 42. [The mother] objects to the order, on the grounds that this will lead to further disputes and potentially further litigation. As Miss Probyn submitted in A v A (Shared Residence)[2004] 1 FLR 1195 CA, {the Court of Appeal] said that parental conflict is precisely a reason for granting the order. 43. Mr Grime, counsel for the mother says that there should be exceptional circumstances for using a joint residence order as a device to grant parental responsibility. There are exceptional circumstances in this case. What could be more exceptional then Mr A being led to believe he was the natural father and being present at the birth, cutting the umbilical chord, treating H as his son, and then to be told in fact that there was another candidate for paternity, and discovering that the other candidate was indeed the biological father. A further exceptional feature is the commitment shown by Mr A to his parental responsibity – and I stress his “responsibility”, not parental rights. Parental commitment is always a factor if the Court considers granting parental responsibility. And of course, there is the parental conflict, which I have already mentioned. 44. When I gave my judgment at the end of 2005, I made it quite clear in taking away Mr A’s parental responsibility then, that if I sanctioned a move away from Bath it would very likely be on the basis of restoring parental responsibility to Mr A. 45. [The Mother] has changed her mind. I do not criticise her for doing that. She changed her mind about what she says about parental responsibility. In the end she still cannot, as I understand it, bring herself to accept the position of Mr A as a” father” to, “daddy” to H. She considers that she is under the control of Mr A in [her present home]. I accept that this is how she feels, I accept that is having an adverse effect on her, and I accept that thereby it is having an adverse effect on relations with Mr A and in turn difficulties in that relationship are impinging upon H, with possible adverse consequence on his emotional development. 46. All those reasons militate in favour of sanctioning the move to [the South Coast], in return for granting a joint residence order and parental responsibility to Mr A. I find that doing so is in H’s best interest. That is the best scenario envisaged by Mr P, so I am not contradicting his ultimate recommendation. It is meeting the concerns of Miss D. It is really up to the parties to make sure that any antagonism is minimised for the benefit of H.”
“50. What I would like to know, going further than the mother offers, is the current pattern to continue during this coming school term. There ought to be a period of adjustment in Brighton. I would like Mr A to firm up his arrangements, whatever they are. Once he has firmed up those arrangements, he can have, it seems to me, the fortnightly contact, provided it takes place in Brighton or nearby. Not returning H to school in the autumn term, but once the spring term starts, he should be able to return H to school on the Monday morning. Again not take him back to [Mr A’s home]. However, half terms and school holidays, he can go back to [Mr A’s home] as it is the extended contact.”
“52… [the mother], of course, was very anxious that Mr A does not impose himself and his will upon every slightest detail. Parental responsibility means just that for Mr A. he has responsibilities, not rights. [The mother] is to remain the primary carer of H. That means that day to day matters, she may decide without reference to Mr A. Some criticism is made of a lack of hair cut by Mr P in his report … but I do not expect, now Mr A has parental responsibility, that he will be laying down the law to [the mother] about having hair cuts and minor detail. And [the mother] can make preliminary arrangements on important matters such as change of school or an important operation, if one is necessary, which one hopes it is not, but generally speaking the day to day care arrangements for H shall continue to be made by [the mother] – where H is to live, if there is to be a move, and matters of significant importance are to be discussed with Mr A, and the parties are going to have to do their best to reach amicable agreement, if there are such matters, which will occasionally arise … Conflict is bad for H. Almost all the main functions o daily routine and decisions will be taken by [the mother] as before. Major issues will be discussed with Mr A. If when H is with Mr A, he needs to go to hospital or he needs to see a doctor … his home address is to be given, his home doctor’s references to be given; nothing is to be done in that respect unilaterally by Mr A, but he can, of course, with responsibility, take his child to the doctor’s or to Casualty if something dreadful were to necessitate that.”
“5. I do not wish to have to repeat to [the mother] that for all purposes Mr A is to be regarded as H’s father. Relying on expert evidence at an earlier hearing, I found this to be in H’s best interests. In the absence of an appeal, the mother must accept this finding, whether she likes it or not. In the court order, Mr A should be referred to as “the Applicant/Respondent (as the case may be) Father.”
“They may gradually win more grudging approval from the Courts if the Judges begin to acknowledge that such orders can reflect practical arrangements made by parents and their children which work well in putting into satisfactory practice that purpose promoted by the Act which emphasises that parenting is a continuing and shared responsibility even after a separation.”
“Residence orders are, as their words indicate, practical orders which settle the arrangements to be made as to the person with whom the child is to live. Here it was important that the boys retained the perception that they lived with their father when they did not live with their mother. Shared residence has a different psychological impact from residence with one, contact with another, because, as contact is defined, it requires that the parent with whom the child lives, must allow the child to visit or stay with the other parent. Here it was necessary for the boys to know that they lived with the Respondent and that they did not just visit him.”
“… The presence of children is a relevant factor in deciding whether a relationship is marriage-like but if the couple are bringing up children together, it is unlikely to matter whether or not they are the biological children of both parties. Both married and unmarried couples, both homosexual and heterosexual, may bring up children together. One or both may have children from another relationship: thus it is not at all uncommon in lesbian relationships that a Court may grant them a shared residence order so that they may share parental responsibility … [143] It follows that a homosexual couple whose relationship is marriage-like in the same way that an unmarried homosexual couple’s relationship is marriage-like are indeed in an analogous situation. Any difference in treatment is based upon their sexual orientation.”
“The CAFCASS officer had expressed a clear fear that, unless a parental responsibility order was made, there was a real danger that [the appellant] would be marginalised in the childrens’ future. I am in no doubt at all that, on the Judge’s finding, the logical consequence was the conclusion that the children required firm measures to safeguard them from diminution in, or loss of, a vital side of family life – not only their relationship with [the appellant], but also with her son. The parental responsibility order was correctly identified by the CAFCASS officer as the appropriate safeguard. The judge’s finding required a clear and strong message to the mother that she could not achieve the elimination of [the appellant], or even the reduction of [the appellant] from the other parent into some undefined family connection. It may be that the mother’s own needs and emotions drove her in that direction but that road had to be sealed off for, if not sealed off, it would be taken at a real cost to the children. I do not think that that factor was sufficiently identified by the judge.”
“In this case, as in all the cases concerning the upbringing of children, the Court seeks to identify the course which is in the best interests of the children. Their welfare is the Court’s paramount consideration. In reaching it’s decision the Court should always have in mind that in the ordinary way the rearing of a child by his or her biological parent can be expected to be in the child’s best interests both in the short term and also, and importantly, in the longer term. I decry any tendency to diminish the significance of this factor. A child should not be removed from the primary care of his or her biological parents without compelling reason.”
“I am of the opinion that the fact of parenthood is to be regarded as an important and significant factor in considering which proposals better advance the welfare of the child. Such fact does not, however, establish a presumption in favour of the natural parent, nor generate a preferential position in favour of the natural parent from which the Court commences it’s decision-making process … Each case should be determined upon the examination of its own merits and of the individuals there involved.”
“To be the legal parent of a child gives a person legal standing to bring and defend proceedings about the child and makes the child a member of that person’s family, but it does not necessarily tell us much about the importance of that person to the child’s welfare.”
“[33] There are at least three ways in which a person may be or become a natural parent of a child each of which may be a very significant fact in the child’s welfare, depending on the circumstances of the particular case. The first is genetic parenthood: the provision of the gametes which produce the child. This can be of deep significance on many levels. The parent, perhaps particularly for a father, the knowledge that this is “his” child can bring a very special sense of love for and commitment for that child which will be of great benefit to the child … For the child, he reaps the benefit not only of that love and commitment, but also of knowing his own origins and lineage, which is an important component in finding an individual sense of self as one grows up … [34] The second is gestational parenthood: the conceiving and bearing of the child. The mother who bears the child is legally the child’s mother, whereas the mother who provided the egg is not: 1990 Act, s.27. While this may be partly for reasons of certainty and convenience, it also recognises a deeper truth: that the process of carrying a child and giving him birth (which may well be followed by breast-feeding for some months) brings with it, in the vast majority of cases, a very special relationship between mother and child, a relationship which is different from any other. [35] The third is social and psychological parenthood: the relationship which develops through the child demanding and the parent providing for the child’s needs, initially at the most level of feeding, nurturing, comforting and loving, and later at the more sophisticated level of guiding, socialising, educating and protecting. The phrase “psychological parent” gained most currency from the influential work of Goldstein, Freud and Solnit, Beyond the Best Interests of the Child (Freepress, 1973), who defined it thus: ‘A psychological parent is one who, on a continuous, day-to-day basis, through interaction, companionship, interplay, and mutuality, fulfils the child’s psychological need for a parent, as well as the child’s physical needs. The psychological parent may be a biological, adoptive, foster or common law parent.’”
“[37] … Parents who are neither genetic nor gestational, but who have become the psychological parents of the child … have an important contribution to make to their welfare. Adoptive parents are the most obvious example, but there are many others. This is the position of CW in this case whatever may have been the mother’s stance in the past.”