“3. And Upon the Mother and the Guardian expressing concerns about the emotional impact of the children having face to face and telephone contact with their father while he is in prison. 4. And Upon the Court acknowledging that this is a highly sensitive situation where emotions for the parents and the children are inevitably heightened following father’s conviction and sentence. 5. And Upon the Court accepting that this is a very difficult case but being acutely aware of the children’s wishes and feelings. 6. And Upon it being acknowledged by all parties that the children love their father and want to spend time with him. … 9. And Upon it being acknowledged that the children’s main home will remain with the mother. 10. And Upon the Father accepting in previous hearings, that at times of frustration he may have said things to the children that exposed them to inappropriate comments about the proceedings, to and in front of the children. 11. And Upon the Court urging the father to maintain control of his frustration/emotions in terms of his communication with the children and for both parents to remain child focussed in their communications with the children, and not to speak negatively about the other parent, to minimise further distress to them.”
“This is a difficult decision. I would be concerned about an order that does not allow the children to see their father. I must listen to the voice of the child, although I am being told to ignore the voice of the child. I am concerned about the impact of their worries and their ages. I believe I would do a huge disservice to them if I did not order some contact. I am also concerned about [the court] not being a party to coercive and controlling behaviours. I am going to order that the children see their father three times a year, facilitated by Ms V or her parents. I am not going to order the mother to take the children to prison. The children need to come to terms with the situation. I am also going to order some indirect contact three times a year. The Judge indicated to Mother that she understood why she did not trust Ms V. The Judge confirmed once again that she is one of those judges who likes to listen to the voice of children. She orders a monthly telephone call. The impact of this would be less. The Judge confirmed she understood Mother’s concerns. Father will never accept the offences, whatever. … It is a really difficult case. A is 11 and B is 9. Their father was convicted of two counts of rape of their mother. I have read the Judge’s sentencing remarks and Mother’s victim impact statement. What makes it so difficult is the children really love their Father and want to see him. They saw him before conviction but not between then and sentencing. Mother does not trust Father or Ms V. The Guardian has been involved a long time. She opposes direct contact and is also concerned about the narrative given. I have to strike a balance. The children are worried about their Father and want to see him. I start from the point that I should listen to their wishes and feelings. They actively want contact. I am equally really worried that they will worry more if they do not see him. The children are old enough to be worried. I think Mother is unrealistic and does not know what prison is like. A 12 year old will not live in a bubble. The more they know, the better. We cannot avoid them finding out and reaching out. Father’s proposals are far too much for the children.”
“(d) the likely behaviour during contact of the parent against whom findings are made and its effect on the child; and (e) the capacity of the parents to appreciate the effect of past domestic abuse and the potential for future domestic abuse.”