“It is the last in a line of separations which, in the past, have always concluded with reconciliation.”
“The grandparents have what appears to me to be an entirely genuine fear of [F]. I do not consider this to be irrational in any way. It is founded on the way he has behaved in the past. It is no doubt compounded by their very long, painful and unpredictable personal experience of the impact of drug misuse on individuals and their families. … It is understandably likely to take a considerable time before the grandparents can feel sanguine about him.”
“Although she was extremely articulate and at times thoughtful when she was giving evidence, her presentation whilst in court was almost like that of an adolescent.”
“a marked tendency to act unexpectedly and without consideration of the consequences; a marked tendency to quarrelsome behaviour and to conflicts with others, especially when impulsive acts are thwarted or criticised; and liability to outbursts of anger or violence with inability to control the resulting behavioural explosion; difficulty in maintaining any course of action that offers no immediate reward; unstable and capricious mood.”
“Whether or not this should lead [the psychiatrist] to review her assessment of whether M had a personality disorder, it does underline the significant problems in M’s personality which are bound to have an impact on her relationship with [E] and with GM.”
“struck by the degree of raw agitation and excitability that attends [this case] as well as by the strongly competing emotions of love, dependency and conflict that exist in M and GM. … It seemed to me that this litigation is the tip of an iceberg. M and GM have between them a whole lifetime of issues which have yet to be resolved …”
“Both parents have long and serious histories of drug misuse and addiction. Despite their recent progress nobody, least of all the parents themselves I suspect, can yet feel confident that that period of their lives is over.”
“The parents’ relationship is problematic to the point of presenting a potential obstacle to them caring for [E] in the foreseeable future. … I do not consider for a moment that the relationship between them is over despite their recent separation. It may well be that that separation is purely “tactical” to improve things for the court hearing … If, as I consider probable, they do not separate, however well M does in her own recovery, she will always be linked with and in danger from what I suspect may turn out to be F’s greater difficulties in recovering. Even if drug taking does not recur, it is my view that their environment is likely to continue to be in danger of being volatile. Neither is mature. Each has the capacity to be sparked off into agitation and they do fall out, even in the presence of others as [the Guardian] saw. Each has personal issues upon which they urgently need to work and the process of addressing these will take up much of their energy. It is impossible to rely upon them, separately or together, to provide the sort of home circumstances that [E] needs to grow up securely. Their abilities as parents may develop over time but I would not forecast now when, if ever, they would be in a position to manage a transition of [E] into their care (or the care of one of them) and to provide for her reliably for the rest of her childhood. Each year she now spends with her grandparents makes it more difficult (or impossible) for her to move to live with her parents or either of them.”
“the Guardian and [the social worker] are in no doubt whatsoever that the practical care and love that [E] is receiving from her grandparents is outstandingly good. They have the capacity to raise her in a loving, nurturing, child-focused home that will meet her developmental needs. That is the basis upon which I proceed and it is because it is so clear that it can be stated so shortly in this judgment. The Guardian says “[E] is flourishing.”
“Due to the very complex and intricate dynamics of this family it has been difficult to get a sense of how [GP] plan to manage an adoption order and consequently the LA does not support this application.”
“This appeal is not intended in any way as a criticism of the judge who made the order.”
“Upon reading the Package of Support proposed by the Local Authority and annexed to this order And upon reading the proposed written agreement between the parties annexed to this order And upon a Special Guardianship Order and Injunction of even date It is ordered that: - (2) … The child shall be known by the [surname]; an application by the applicants to change the child’s surname is refused. (3) There shall be direct contact between the child and [M] on six occasions per annum subject to the following conditions:- (a) with the agreement of the Local Authority contact shall be supervised by London Borough of Wandsworth’s social services; (b) with agreement of the Local Authority, London Borough of Wandsworth shall use its best endeavours to ensure that the same worker supervises the contact visits in the first year; (c) contact shall be four hours in duration, such time to include travel time for the child; the child shall be collected from the applicants’ home address for contact and returned back following contact by the contact supervisor; (d) only the mother shall attend contact; (e) neither [GF] nor [GM] shall be present during contact; (f) contact shall take place away from the usual home address of the child; (g) during contact [M] shall have full regard to the proposed written agreement annexed to this order and it shall remain within the discretion of the Local Authority to cancel, or suspend or bring to an end any contact visit in the event of a breach of any aspect of the proposed written agreement, particularly paragraphs (xi) and (xii) thereof or if the mother speaks in a manner undermining of the placement. (4) There may be such further or other contact between the child and [M] as agreed between [M] and [GP] only if approved in advance by the allocated social worker in writing, such advance approval being required for a period of 12 months from the date of this order. (5) At the discretion of the Local Authority there shall be indirect contact to [F] by way of cards and/or letters; such contact may include suitable presents if [F] so wishes; such indirect contact shall be made via social services as “letter box” contact, social services having agreed to ensure (for a period of twelve months in the first instance) such indirect contact material is given to the child. In addition the applicants agree to provide the father with an annual letter setting out [E’s] development and progress; the indirect contact shall be facilitated by the Local Authority’s “letter box” service; … (11) The applicant’s application for permission to disclose the papers to a consultant child psychiatrist is refused.”
“… helping [E] to understand the context of her family, how she came to live with [GP], preparation of a Life Story book with her family tree etc, help her to understand the contact visits and to assess the impact of contact on her after it has taken place. The Local Authority will also work with [GP] to help them understand the issues around [E’s] identity, (including the importance of her name remaining the same).”
“5.10 The Government will legislate to create this new option, which could be called “special guardianship”
“14B(1) Before making a special guardianship order, the court must consider whether, if the order were made- (a) a contact order should also be made with respect to the child, and (b) any section 8 order in force with respect to the child should be varied or discharged. (2) On making a special guardianship order, the court may also- (a) give leave for the child to be known by a new surname … 14C(1) The effect of a special guardianship order is that while the order remains in force- (a) a special guardian appointed by the order has parental responsibility for the child in respect of whom it is made; and (b) subject to any other order in force with respect to the child under this Act, a special guardian is entitled to exercise parental responsibility to the exclusion of any other person with parental responsibility for the child (apart from another special guardian). … (3) While a special guardianship order is in force with respect to a child, no person may – (a) cause the child to be known by a new surname; … 14E … (5) Section 11(7) [which allows the imposition of conditions on making a section 8 order] … applies in relation to special guardianship orders and orders varying them as it applies in relation to section 8 orders. 14F(1) (1) Each local authority must make arrangements for the provision within their area of special guardianship support services, which means - (a) counselling, advice and information; and (b) such other services as are prescribed, in relation to special guardianship. …”
“In a case where there is as much anxiety as there is here about the way in which [E’s] identity is dealt with, it would be completely contrary to her interests, in my view, for her now to be known by a different surname. Her welfare is most likely to be secured, it seems to me, by keeping her circumstances as faithful to reality and the truth of her situation as possible. Whilst I accept that some explanation of names will be required, for instance, doctors and schools, I do not consider that that will be an insuperable problem in the context of a special guardianship order. A simple explanation that [E’s] parents are unable to care for her so we, her maternal grandparents, are looking after her with an SGO should be sufficient.”
“59. There is no doubt that the question of identity is a serious one which has the potential to be harmful for [E] if it is not resolved and possibly disruptive of her relationship with her grandparents as she grows older. … [E] will have at least two major added issues to cope with as she grows up in that she will be a mixed race child and, rather than living with her parents, she will be living with her white grandparents. Each step must therefore be taken at every stage to ensure that her upbringing puts her and the adults in her life in a position to deal with this in the best possible way. … 61. The guardian said in her March 2006 report that she had “major concerns” in the area of [E’s] identity needs. She considered, quite rightly that [E’s] emotional needs can never be fully met if she is to be cut off completely from any knowledge of her paternal family. … 63. GM’s oral evidence about the whole issue of fathers and mothers was disturbing … 64. The overall thrust of the grandparents’ evidence was that they agreed in principle that [E] needed to know who her mother and father were but they were not proposing to raise the issue of parents with [E] until she raised it with them. The sense I got was that they remained unpersuaded that [E] should be given a normal basic child’s understanding of mother and father but thought that she should have the concepts put over to her in a way which recognised that her parents were not actually acting in the capacity of parents to her, hence the use of terms such as “birth mother” and “birth father”. … GM disagrees forcefully with the normal social services’ practice of starting a life story book with the child’s parents and says, “I hope the [social services] are not going to force me to do it in that way.””
“The fact that name-change has been specifically inserted as a possibility with an SGO shows that it has been put forward as an advantage to the maintenance of stability. [Her use of our surname] signals to the outside world that this is a unit, and that [E] is part of us. It helps everyone, both inside and outside the family unit to know where they all are, particularly [E] herself who wants a family day by day, not in the abstract … it therefore acts as a recognition of the reality of the grandparents’ input and a realistic acknowledgement of their value to [E’s] interests. As such it is a mark of real support to their maintenance of her security, and a helpful definition which helps shore up their stability in the face of the swell of addict chaos.”
“I had a real sense of a household beleaguered by the litigation. I think [GP] feel profoundly insecure in their care of [E] at the moment and in their relationship with M and F. They have been attacked and criticised during these proceedings for many things that have happened over the years when I am quite sure that they have always done what, rightly or wrongly, they thought was the best for everyone concerned in situations which were often very difficult. I think they also feel that their efforts in stepping in and looking after [E] have been misconstrued and denigrated and the love and care that they have given her as grandparents not recognised. It is vital for [E’s] future that this insecurity and uncertainty is brought to an end.”
“At times, what [GM] writes and what [M] has written in the midst of complaints, anxieties, and recriminations show that each of them still has a need and love for the other and wishes, deep down, to be able to have a more straightforward and positive relationship. I’m sure that both of them mourn, more or less consciously, the loss of so many years that have been marred by the problems that have beset them.”
“There have been pleasant and fun contacts. … I do not intend to attempt to attribute blame for the times when contact has not gone well. That will be far from simple anyway because I am acutely aware that the trigger points may derive from the history and not from the immediate events of each individual contact session. What is clear is having [M] and [GM] together in a contact session is setting up a situation in which emotional explosions of a type that would be harmful for [E] can and do occur, even when professionals are present. [M] asserts that her mother does the shouting, not her, but that has not been observed by professionals; I note that the guardian comments more than once on [GM] acting in a placatory way. It is clear that [M] can manage to have extremely good contact with [E]. She can also manage things very badly. … I think [GM] is probably right when she says that [M] has the capacity to explode in contexts which do not involve her as well … In my determination of the contact issue, I will therefore have to look at the implications of [M’s] rather more widespread volatility before determining whether contact without the grandparents is likely to be an answer here.”
“I do not dismiss this consideration out of hand because it seems to me that GM can be controlling or try to be.”
“I am entirely clear that a continuance or a resumption of the contact situation that has developed during these proceedings would be profoundly damaging for [E]. If there were to be any question of that, priority would have to be given to maintaining (at most) a strictly regulated regime of limited contact away from the family home. There may even be a need for contact to cease for a period. … I accept the advice of the guardian and social services that the correct approach for the immediate future to M’s contact is to introduce complete certainty about it, reducing the frequency, taking it outside the Putney home and removing the flashpoint between the adults.” (Emphasis added.)
“It is not possible to say at present whether F will be able to form and sustain a relationship with [E]. He undoubtedly has feelings about her as his daughter even though he has not seen her since she was a very small baby. He also has the capacity to show love and care to his other children. He is, however, subject to distractions from other issues in his life as his present position in relation to [another daughter] shows. I think there will probably come a time, if he stays off drugs and works on his behaviour, when F is able to see [E] face to face. It will be greatly to her benefit if that position can be reached. He is her father and she will want to know him and to find out for herself what he is really like and how he loves her. He is also fundamental to her because he has given her the black part of her identity and she will want and need to enjoy that to the full as she grows up. … I hope very much that F can now prove to be reliable in consistently sending [E] cards, letters and, if he wants, presents but only time will tell and the progress of his recovery will no doubt have a huge impact on what happens.”